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| Photo
used for reference purposes only. Stewart-Marchman always honors
anonymity. |
I always said I
would never be like my mother. I never really knew what she had done,
but I did know that there was resentment towards her from other people
in our family, and that she did drugs.
As a kid up to seventh grade, I was as far away from being my mother
as I could possibly be. I was kind of a nerd, got straight A's and
played the flute and piano. When I was in seventh grade something
happened. I started getting invited to parties, all the "cool people"
started talking to me, and that was my downfall.
My grades started dropping because I turned into a social butterfly
and all I cared about were my friends. I tried alcohol the summer
before ninth grade and liked the feeling.
In September of 1999, I smoked my first joint, which instantly became
my first love. The high was great, and I couldn't wait to do it again.
Eventually I lost touch with my old friends and got close to older
kids and druggies who always had weed. I always had pot because people
were always giving me some, and as weird as it may seem, I never did
anything in return. I was always high. I attempted quitting many times,
but it never worked. Once I quit for about two months, and when I
started back up, it was once a week or so, that's when I got caught.
My parents had me committed to Stewart's Phoenix Wing. From there
I entered outpatient treatment, I failed eight UA's, and ended up
in Stewart's RAP - residential adolescent program. Before I went to
RAP I made up my mind that I would run once I got here. But from the
minute I walked in the door, I decided I wasn't going to run. It seemed
pretty nice and we weren't caged in, so I was open to it. I took the
first step, I realized that I wouldn't be there if I didn't have a
problem. I learned a lot at RAP, and I am happy I was there. I know
God put me there for a reason.
It has been 6 months since I got out and I've maintained good grades
in school. My goal is to be a forensic pathologist. I stick to non-using
friends; live life sober; and I'm not looking back because my past
is full of pain.
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